05 April 01

Sports Update

By Ben Brake

"Youngsters"

Last week Bill Snyder had a media conference to let everybody know what is going on with the football program at this time. He
said basically the same thing he says every year before the spring game, we need more work here, need more work there, and
need we need competition in every position. You could pretty much replay the last years spring media conference and get the
same jest.

The one thing that caught my eye was Coach Snyder referred to the players as "youngsters" eight times during the session. I
could envision all of these football players running around the practice field playing with toys and yielding diapers. Get rid of the
Gatorade containers and bring in some Similac bottles and forget the Nike logos, sew on the Gerber emblems.

Well, then I started getting a little depressed. I started to realize that these "youngsters" are just about young enough to be my
kids (but not quite). That means that these young men are young enough to be my fatherís grandchildren.

Oh boy, I have some major problems that I need to think about. My father just had another birthday on April 2nd and he isnít
getting any younger. What are we going to do if he, you know, gets in "a bad way" and Linda canít take care of him? My brother
Jahnnie and I would have some decisions to make. Do we find a "Home" for him, have him live with my brother or I, or do we just
make a call to Dr. Kavorkian?

I donít believe he would want to go to a "Home". He would fuss over the food not being chopped up enough or the living conditions
were just not right.

As for my brother and I, we would be trying to decide which one of us would he live with. Jahnnie has all those really good
memories of playing in the park, going on family outings and all of the really nice quality times together.

As for me, I remember those times when they would hear a glass break in another room that I just happened to be in with several
other kids and they would automatically yell my name. There wouldnít be an investigation in the matter, just the accusation and
execution. Then out came "Big Bertha" the 2X4 paddle with nails sticking out of it.

But I wouldnít hold that against him, not enough to matter anyway.

My brother and I will probably be fighting over who gets him anyway. Jahnnie will say to me "you take him" and I will say, "No, you
take him". It wonít be a long fight because I will just whisper in my Dadís ear, "I have Kavorkian on speed dial". Then he will be off
to Tennessee! We love you Dad and hope your birthday went well. When the hip goes youíre ours!

Have a Great Wildcat day!